


To what place

by Tali (aworldinside)



Category: American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Death, F/M, Gen, Underworld, Yuletide 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 19:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldinside/pseuds/Tali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura was all here. All dead. She felt relieved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To what place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tahanrien](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tahanrien).



It should have been cold. It was dark, and cavernous, but Laura didn't feel hot or cold as she stood at the river's edge. The water looked like it was moving, but hardly made a sound.

'Laura.'

She turned around. A thin man was standing there.

'Yes. Who are you?

'I am Mr. Ibis. A ... friend of your husband's.'

He held a hand out to her. Laura didn't take it.

'You knew Shadow?'

'He did some work for my friend and I.'

Laura looked around. 'Where is this?'

'A waiting room, of sorts.'

Waiting room. Right. Last time she'd felt like she was floating between places. This time she felt the squelch of the bank beneath her feet and felt the air move around her. There was no confusion. No other place. Just here.

'I'm dead for real this time, aren't I?'

'I believe that is what you asked for, yes?'

'Yeah.'

'Then yes, you are.'

She was all here. All dead. She felt relieved.

'Shall we go?' Mr Ibis asked, indicating towards the river, where a boat had floated up, seemingly under its own power.

Go where?

\--

As they crossed the river Mr Ibis talked every now and then, about the river and how its current had calmed down over the years, and how traffic was especially high right now, and Laura found her mind wandering.

It was like nothing else she had experienced, which well, made sense really, didn't it? There was no actual place like this.

The dark water passed by them smoothly with quite a strong current, but it was still so quiet. The only sound came from the paddle in the river, and Mr Ibis's occasional comments. His voice wasn't that comforting. Laura wished she had a hand to hold. Shadow's hand. They were always so large and enveloped hers so completely, she had never feared anything with his hand in hers.

Laura wasn't sure how much time had passed before she said anything. Mr Ibis had been quiet for a little while. 'So, this is Hell? Heaven?'

'Neither.'

It looked a little like the Hell of popular belief. It was dark, and a little foreboding, but there were no flames or tormented souls.

Something had been bothering Laura since she had arrived. 'But I don't believe in this.'

'Well, this is nowhere. This is in-between. This leads to many places.'

'But I don't believe there is an in-between after you die.'

Mr Ibis turned around to look at her. 'What do you believe?'

And that was the question, wasn't it? She'd never had a particularly religious upbringing. She occasionally went to church when she stayed with her aunt, but then she'd also attended a Samhain ritual with her friend from high school. She had been curious, but never really settled on any idea of her own of what death should be. Whether it was an end, or whether it was something more.

'I'm not sure,' she said finally.

'That's why we decided for you.'

'You can do that?'

'We already have.'

Mr Ibis had a small smile on his face as he turned back and continued to paddle. She wasn't sure the paddling was actually necessary, just something he liked to do.

'What?' Laura said.

'Shadow asked exactly the same thing.'

They arrived at the riverbank.

'We're here.'

Where?

\--

There was a queue of people. Laura noticed him straight away.

'You,' he said.

Loki looked exactly the same as when she'd put the spear through him. Covered in blood. He looked resigned though. Like he'd already done this a few times before.

'Yes, me.' Laura replied. 'You're here as well?'

'Here to be judged, just like everyone else.'

'Gods go to Hell too?'

Loki smirked, 'You don't think I'm getting into Valhalla?'

Laura didn't know. Maybe he was someone's hero.

Mr Ibis came up behind her and shuffled her past Loki.

'Don't you know we all take turns down here?' Loki said, sounding more bored than upset.

'I hardly think what's going to be at other end of this will be a surprise to you.' Mr Ibis replied, somewhat tartly if Laura was any judge.

They came before a tall black man half-naked standing in front of a table on which was a set of scales.

'This is Mr Jacquel, Laura,' said Mr Ibis quietly, before withdrawing a few steps back.

'Laura.' Mr Jacquel bowed his head.

'Yes.'

'Nice job. He needed taking down a peg or too.' He said it gruffly, but one side of his mouth turned upwards slightly.

Laura didn't know what to say. She settled on, 'thank you.' It only seemed polite.

He held out a hand to her, and suddenly she staggered back and a heart was in his hands.

'Is that mine?' She felt like her ... heart was in her throat, and swallowed quickly.

Mr Jacquel just smiled a little and placed it on a scale that was sitting in front of him. On the other side was a feather.

A million things flew through her head at once. Some good, some bad. Her mother's death, marrying Shadow, cheating on her American History test in fifth grade, blowing Robbie in the car before it crashed, pushing the spear thought Loki's breast-bone, it all coalesced and drove her to her knees.

When she could stand, tears were running down her face.

The scales were swaying, before they rested with the heart just lighter than the feather. Just.

Mr Ibis put his hand on Mr Jacquel's shoulder before slowly walking away, bowing his head to Laura as he departed.

Mr Jacquel watched him go for a second, before indicating to a cat/woman that stood just behind him.

'Bast will take you.'

Take her where?

\--

The cat/woman looked at her curiously. 'So, you're Laura.'

'You weren't there. At the battle.'

'No.'

'You knew Shadow as well?'

The cat/woman's lips turned upwards, though Laura wouldn't quite call it a smile. 'You could say that, yes.'

Distracted, Laura looked back where the scales were. Where her heart had been weighed. She shivered and turned back.

'He'll be back, won't he? Loki?

The cat/woman just looked at her for a second, and then shrugged her shoulders. 'Probably. He's lucky that way.' She didn't seem that worried.

'Don't worry about him You did well back there. He won't be bothering anyone for a while.'

'And after that?'

Bast shrugged again. The more Laura thought about it, the more she realised she wasn't that worried either.

She looked around. They had been walking, but she hadn't really noticed the terrain around her. 'Where are we?'

Sun washed over the fields were laid out before her. Long, green grass and tall trees in the distance.

'Just a place,' Bast replied. 'Away from everything else.'

'Why did you take me here?'

'To show you your options.'

'Why? I don't see you doing this with anyone else.'

Bast said nothing.

'Why?'

'Least I could do.'

Laura didn't quite know what she meant. And wondered if Shadow was perhaps a reason behind some of it. Just how close had they been?

Bast stopped walking when they reached a large tree and indicated the lush grass below their feet.

'Now, sit down and relax.'

Laura stayed standing. 'Why, what are you ...? '

'Trust me, Laura.'

Laura fell.

\--

'Laura'

'Laura.'

'C'mon, Laura wake up.'

She felt a touch along her arm, skirting along her bare belly, slowly moving downwards ...

She knew that voice. She knew the feel of these sheets. The smell in the air. The sunshine through the window.

'Laaaura.'

Laura opened her eyes and Shadow was hovering over her, a few inches from her face. He was smiling.

'Hey, puppy.'

'Hey.'

She waited as Shadow lowered his mouth to hers.

\--

She was ten and she was in the hospital waiting room. Her aunt was sitting beside her, rosary beads in hand. Her eyes were focused on the Popular Mechanics magazine on the table.

The doctor was walking towards them.

'Your mother's been badly hurt, but she's going to be fine. Just, fine.'

Laura looked up at her aunt.

'Can I see her?'

'Of course you can, dear.'

She ran down the corridor.

Her mother was waiting for her.

\--

Shadow was sitting under a tree. Bast as a cat curled up in his lap, licking his fingers.

\--

Loki was laughing. Tossing Shadow's head back and forth in his hands.

\--

Laura woke up with a start.

'I didn't say all of them were good options. Just, options.'

Laura stood up. 'I've decided.'

'And what have you decided, Laura?' Bast's tone was formal, like it had years, centuries, millennia of meaning behind it.

\--

Laura was on a road, bag in hand. Walking.

Where?

She didn't know.

She liked that.


End file.
